Stages
I'm seeing some great opportunities opening up for women in hospitality which are truly exciting and much-needed. It's even better when we recognize, especially as women, that we accomplish more with a supportive mindset than an insecure, constantly competitive one. I've learned so much already in my short, loud life - about life - that people who've lived more predictably may never understand. A quiet life still needs excitement and stimulation, but people can find that in the oddest - and sometimes least constructive - of ways. Is it not best to simply live the way you want? Still, I love learning daily.
'Oh, it's just a stage, she'll grow out of it. Don't worry.' Isn't that what people say? 'She's so different. She's not like the other kids. She even thinks differently. I worry.', they said
to my mom.
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My first culinary award - 10 years and 30pounds ago - at an office party.[/caption]'Are you adopted?'
'You gained weight!'
'You're from somewhere else, aren't you?'
'Well, what if we try it this way?' "We don't do things that way. We never have."
"You talk alot. You're not really that quiet, are you?" "I don't know. How quiet did you assume I was?"
'You know, if you have physical problems, it's probably because of something you did, or can't accept, right? You can probably control it. What do you think about that?'
'Well what if you had surgery? You don't want to stay like that? Do you?'
"Oh. You eat sushi? "
"Oh. You had a massage done?"
"Oh. You do yoga? That's kind of bohemian, isn't it?"
"Oh. You don't like cornbread?" (No. Just yours.)
"Oh. You bought so-and-so a card?"
"Oh. You brought food?"
"Oh. You hugged them?"
"Oh.You're too good to date like the rest of us, huh?"
"Oh. Oh. Oh....."
The things 'people' can say over the years! They're not really being people when they say it, though. If life has taught me anything, it's that 'people'-those kind- are not so truly relevant. They are usually placeholders on the stage of your life, in a particular place, in a particular time. Some stick around. Some don't. Some will support you. Some won't.
We'll get done what we are purposed to regardless. It will have less to do with our appearance than our state of mind, which affects everything else. And furthermore, we should be choosy who gets to hold a place, even. Most can exit stage right, and we'll be none the worse for it.
But I'll say this. At this stage in my life, I'm all about roots. Discovering more of my own, forging new ones, and creating a space in which people feel safe, secure, happy, and free - whether it be culinarily or personally.
I'm choosing how I want to build my life right now. I don't need superficial relationships, pseudo-safety, 'artificial intelligence', or hype - shucks - if it isn't real, if there's no foundation, and it won't go the distance, I am not interested. Don't get me wrong. I've met some good people along the way.
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On purpose.
Because I chose to keep moving.
Know this about me - everybody. I will not entertain anything that will waste my energy, reward me with less than I deserve, or isn't 'whole'. I've done the hot coals, I've come through the fire. I don't measure my existence in half-lives. I.am.real. I only care about real. I only want real in my life.
Be the constant. Be present. Be bold. Be courageous. Be real or don't bother. I'm using my energy for positive, forward-movement. I know what I want. This post isn't "about" anyone else. It's about me. (That's how social media often works.)
I'm all about grounding, real connection, and real relationships. There was a time when I'd be head-over-heels excited about uprooting from everything I know and trying some place new. I'm always growing or pushing past my comfort zone. That, actually, makes me comfortable. I don't settle, I try. If it works, great, but if not - move on. That's why they call them trials. I've had more than plenty. I'll see a few more. I'm still up for travel - on vacation, or for a special (short-term) project.
But for years now, I've stayed ready to pack up my entire life and move on a moment's notice. Anywhere. I'm so good at moving that I almost forgot the sensation of sitting still long enough to let the earth do its job.
Gravity.
Stability.
Growth.
I've been water for a very, very long time. I've loved water. Water looks good on me, it flows through me and courses through my life; its very agility a rush of continuity as my personal way of being. It will always be there, my champion of adaptability in often perilous times - me as water.
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ME 3 years ago[/caption]Looks like I'm growing into a tree these days.
I'm letting the earth have its way with me. I'm breathing in the woods - watching the sway of the new leaves, standing still long enough for the sun to shine on my smiling face. I'm letting life happen in a place, long enough to let life happen. I'm allowing relationships and people to affect my life, instead of holding them at a distance because I may not be there to stay. They may still be hurtful. Yes, people hurt. I may still be cautious, with good reason. But I was always the half-person/half-myth, the friend who was always friendly but at a point, aloof. Because I was just passing through, and I knew it. There were times many years ago when I would have 'full dreams'. Warm dreams of a complete, full, boisterous and happy life in a completely different space than where I was. The awareness of being in a place or with a person only temporarily that you thought would be permanent can be immediately soul-crushing, but lastingly uplifting. Hope knows. Love knows. I know that now.
I am more myself today than ever I was.
The woman you see tomorrow will still be different from the one you saw yesterday, because every day I am more centered. Every step I take now is leading to my future. I like it that way. There is a reward for the one keeping a set path too. It's called success.
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